Love Vaccine Episode XNUMX Good and Evil (XNUMX)

Nao-chan suffers from a dissociative disorder due to past trauma.
Erotic behavior is a ``trauma reenactment'' behavior, and fatherhood seems to be a part of this.
He had been having an unpaid relationship with a married man, but he managed to get him to stop by convincing him that it was not profitable considering the risk of his wife suing him for infidelity.
Inside of me, there is a conflict between two feelings: my sexual desire (evil), which wants to fully enjoy the erotic Nao-chan, and my desire to cure her (good), if the eroticism is coming from a disease.
On the other hand, once Nao-chan develops a sense of self and becomes able to clearly say yes and no, won't the attraction I feel for this girl disappear?There is also a vague fear.
Now, what happened?
One day while I was thinking about this, I received a report from Nao-chan saying, ``A new man has appeared.''
Through a female friend's introduction, she is becoming friends with a single man in his XNUMXs.
Nao-chan: "That person seems to be controlling towards me. I think he is trying to 'own' me again."
It's true that the men who approach Nao these days are probably the ones who are attracted to Nao because she doesn't have an ``ego'' and feels like she can do whatever she wants.There are many talented people, including myself.
Nao's saving grace is that she is at least rationally aware of her situation.
Will reason win, or will unconsciousness (replay behavior) win?
While talking with the single man, I discovered something very important.
Surprisingly, the married man and I worked in the same business and knew each other.
So, Nao-chan apparently confessed everything about the sexual act she had had with the married man, and even talked about her life as a father with me.
As for why he did that, it seems like this is also a reenactment.
Nao-chan is inviting me to tell her that she is such an erotic girl, and that you please play with me as you please.
It is said that it was used for the dashi.
The single man was surprised, but he didn't go so far as to stop dating Nao.
On the day we talked about it, I missed the last train, so I ended up spending the night at a hotel with the single man.
As usual, Nao approached the man completely naked and seduced him, but the man did not take off his pants.
By the way, he said he had an erection.
Single man: "I'm different from those people. To prove that, I won't have sex with you easily. I'll just cuddle with you."
After saying that, I held the naked Nao-chan and slept with her for the night.
Nao went on a date with the single man the following weekend as well.
Similarly, Nao was completely naked and the man stayed overnight without taking off his pants.
Nao-chan: ``I don't really understand what that single man is thinking, but I think he's trying to make me trust him by doing that and to control him mentally.My intuition tells me, ``This man is dangerous.'' I have to run away.’ My intuition is usually right.”
Even as he says this, he continues to provoke single men, as if he can't escape repeating his actions.
Nao-chan: ``△-san, please leave lots of hickeys and bite marks on me. I'm too embarrassed to be naked in front of that man.''
Mr. Mac: "Okay. Why don't you just buy some magic at a convenience store and write 'For my use only' on your lower abdomen (lol)"
Nao-chan: “That’s good. Please do that.”
I wrote it the way you wanted.
Mr. Mac: ``Magic disappears as soon as you wash it in the bath, so when it starts to disappear, trace it over yourself. Don't erase it until the next time we meet.''
After that, I went home and looked up ``disappearing tattoos'' on the internet.When written with a vegetable dye called henna, it seems to last up to two weeks.Next time we meet, I'll write it on you with henna.
The reunion will be in a week.
When I stripped Nao completely naked at the hotel, the magic had completely disappeared.
Mr. Mac: "Huh? Didn't you trace it from above?"
Nao-chan: ``Actually, right after that, I went to see a single man...When I told him, ``I've been treated like this,'' he was surprised, and I thought maybe he was attracted to him. ``I was told, ``Let's just erase it,'' and in the bath, I wiped it off with soap.''
Mr. Mac: "I see...so what happened after that? Did you have sex?"
Nao-chan: "No, we just slept together as usual. I was completely naked and the man was wearing panties."
I didn't expect Nao to go to a single man right after breaking up with me, but I wonder what the single man was thinking?
I was confused, but in reality, I was the one who felt this strangeness, and I was just numb from being a dad, and maybe the man was more sensible.
There are only a handful of people in this world who are active fathers or are in multiple relationships, and most people get along with only one partner, get married, have children, and start a family.
I don't cheat either.My father was actually like that.
At first, I thought he was just putting up with his weight like a chuunibyou and would eventually show his true nature, but maybe that single man is actually a genuine person.
If so, it would be a bright exit for Nao-chan.
And what action did Nao-chan take this time?
In other words, he used me as a ``bite dog'' to test the single man.
I wrote "a dog that bites", but is the meaning correct?

[Bite dog] In dog fighting, a dog that is bitten by young dogs for training purposes.Old dogs retired from competition are often used.In other words, in martial arts, etc., it is a weak opponent who is played against as a foil.

It's subtle, but it's not completely out of the question.In reality, it was a "biting dog" because it left bite marks.
Even though it was part of an unconscious reenactment, it was a big deal for Nao-chan to use me in this way.
This is not sarcastic or sarcastic.I like experiencing this kind of ``zest for life''.
Somewhere in Nao-chan's life, she must have been able to demonstrate her "power to live."
In other words, it was a successful reenactment as an act of self-medication.
You handled it well.That's great, Nao-chan.
Now, when that happens, you can see what you should do next.
It will temporarily disappear from Nao's life.
At least while things are going well with the single man.
Help Nao set up an environment where she can say to a single man, ``I'm done being a dad.If you're fine with me, please make me yours alone.''
The single man also said he wanted to marry Nao.
I don't even know if this is the real exit for Nao-chan.But it's a good bet.
☆
☆
So, I sent what I had written so far to Nao-chan via LINE.
In fact, I've been sending all of my previous "Good and Evil" column articles to Nao-chan.
Nao-chan says, ``It's very interesting,'' and reads it.
And after sending this article,
"I'm breaking up with a single man. I need Mr. △."
came the heartbreaking reply.
That's not true.That can't be true.
``I'm sorry I made you feel like I was a biting dog.''
I'm not concerned about that at all.As I wrote in the main text, that is Nao-chan's ``power to live'' and a manifestation of her strength.I was actually happy.
When Nao showed the single man the hickeys and graffiti she had made on me, I sensed Nao's intention, or ego, rather than dissociation.
It can be said that she was not very good at taking advantage of men.Because at least he's letting me get away with it.However, even if she was a failure, Nao-chan learned and experienced.
I'm sure I'll be able to kill my prey even better next time.For that reason, it's better to remember with your body that your move this time was bad.
If we were to compare it to a mother and her child in a wild animal, it would be the time when the child leaves the nest.
I think it's ``good'' to end this situation for now, but I could be wrong.
For example, the single man may be a truly "dominant" man who attracts Nao and completely enslaves her mentally.
However, even though I am single, people like me, who are old, prefer multiple relationships, and have no intention of getting married, have neither the right nor the excuse to intervene any further at this point.
I have no intention of pretending to be a "good" person.
Basically, the essence that moves me is sexual desire = evil, but because it is evil, I can sometimes do good things that I cannot do unless I am in the position of evil.
That's me.
By reflecting in the mirror called Nao-chan, I was able to see my true self.
Thank you Nao-chan (palms together).

Past article link →(1) (2) (3) (4) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX) (XNUMX)