Love Vaccine Episode XNUMX Good and Evil (XNUMX)

I played with Nao-chan in various ways.
One of them is ``public sex training.''
The place is the usual mixed bathing hot spring.
We don't want regular customers to complain, so we're careful about that, but the regular Wani-san (single male customers) read the atmosphere and tell us things like ``Today's okay'' or ``Today's a little bad''. So it's helpful.
The first thing I do is take Nao by the hand and lead her to the men's changing room, where we all take off our clothes.
Then, I made Nao stand completely naked on the edge of the hot spring, put her hands behind her head, and made her spin around in a pose that exposed her pussy to shoot a video.
Next, I let her serve me with her hands and mouth to make my penis erect, and then, with the help of the crocodiles, I turned Nao on her back and one person held down her head, and the two of them held down her spread legs from both sides, and I made her erect. It is inserted at the position.
Others gathered around her and humiliated her with words such as ``Oh, you're here'' and ``You're such a naughty girl.''
While playing like this over and over again, I realized that I had a unique feeling towards Nao that I didn't feel towards other girls.
That is "ownership".
As I have written many times, I am a person with little jealousy or possessiveness.
Was it because he felt love for Nao that he developed a possessive desire?
Wrong.
I can definitely say that.That's not a good story.
In the first place, it's not about possessiveness. It's a desire to possess.
It's like wanting a sports car or jewelry.
To put it more basely, it's similar to a child wanting a toy.
So I thought about why I felt that way.
Nao-chan doesn't really dislike it.
It's not like Nao-chan herself has a strong sexual desire and is excited by my perverted play.
She guesses what she should do to make me happy and takes the initiative to play that kind of girl.
I don't feel Nao's own "ego" there.
I sense a faint sense of self here and there, but it's very weak, perhaps undeveloped or atrophied.
On the other hand, the other girls have egos.
That's why I don't feel possessive.
To explain, as long as the girl has a sense of self, that girl's body belongs to her self, and I have a strong feeling of respect for others.
There's no way I can touch other people's things.That's why I don't have a desire to own it.
However, Nao doesn't feel any sense of self.Her mind is empty, so to speak, so she thinks she can make it her own territory.
If no one owns it, I'll make it mine.That kind of desire burns brightly.
This is possessiveness.
There are no talented men who have this kind of feeling, including me.
This is what it means to find a so-called ``girl who can't say no'' and create a relationship by controlling her mentally and playing with her desires.
There is a term called "self-other boundaries."
This term comes from ASD (autism spectrum disorder), and there are people who have ambiguous boundaries with others.
Broadly speaking, there are two types: those who "extend their domain to others" and those who "extend other people's domains to themselves."
The former involves forcing one's ideas onto others, while the latter is the opposite, as in Nao-chan, one excessively adapts to the other person, making it appear that there is no "self".
From what Nao-chan has said, it seems like Nao-chan's mother was the type who would "expand her domain to include others."
Maybe that's why Nao-chan was pushed to become the type of person who ``extends other people's territory to include herself.''
Therefore, when they sense the desires of others, they comply with them.
If anything, I try to be proactive and act out the personality that other people are looking for.
If this happens repeatedly, the ego that is supposed to exist will be damaged.
This leads to a loss of self and dissociation.
If that's the case, what Nao-chan needs is to develop her ego.
Have them think about what they want to do with each and every action they take.
When it comes to money, there is an episode that makes you feel that Nao's boundaries between self and other are thin.
Apparently, after receiving money from me, Nao-chan stops at a store on the way home and buys clothes and other things as recommended by the store staff.
This ``just doing what is recommended'' is the lack of boundaries between self and other.
Also, as I mentioned earlier, she buys 2 yen worth of love cosmetics (lotion, etc.) for the next time we meet, and buys me brand-name underwear.
What's more, there are cases where people randomly hand out tens of thousands of yen to people collecting donations on the street.
I haven't been able to do a ``profit and loss account.''
As I wrote about line exchanges in past columns, he has intelligence.She is by no means a stupid girl.
So I decided to devise a new way to give the allowance.
Of the 5 yen, 4 yen will be placed in a transparent polyethylene bag and heat sealed.


Mac"thisThe 4 yen is not to be given to Nao-chan now, but to Nao-chan in the future, who has fully recovered and is doing well, so don't tear the bag.I'll give you XNUMX yen naked, so you can finish your shopping.Not only this, but it's a good idea to get into the habit of spending XNUMX% ​​of the money you earn through work as rewards, but saving the remaining XNUMX%.

This kind of sense of balance, which normal people naturally acquire, seems to need to be taught one by one as an afterthought.
There's just one thing that bothers me.
Nao's charm itself stems from this ``lack of ego.''
When this girl recovers, her boundaries between herself and others become clear, and she is able to properly account for profit and loss, will I be able to continue to feel attracted to her more than anyone else?
Nao-chan's charm lies in the fact that she lets me do whatever I want, that she anticipates what I want and adapts her personality accordingly.
Nao-chan is now able to clearly say yes and no based on her own intentions, likes and dislikes.
Certainly, bad men who want to control Nao's heart and "possess" her will no longer approach her.
Will Nao be loved by anyone then?
In order to do that, Nao-chan needs to hone her true charm as a human being.
There are many challenges, but this is the direction we are heading.
Let's return to the topic of good and evil.
The reason I can think about these things, realize them, and teach them to Nao-chan is because I myself have an ``evil'' side.
Unless you are a bad person, you cannot understand the heart of a bad person.
Therefore, there are good things that can only be achieved by evil people.
―In this world, there is malice born of good intentions.Good intentions born of malice (Code Geass) ―
(Continue)

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