2023/6/29
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No savings at 40, marriage is difficult

A lover who takes care of the life of a rich man by giving money and goods to the woman he likes.In the old days, this word was used for women in the bar business, but recently it seems that it is also used for married men's affair partner or cheating partner.

It's attractive to have a rich man take care of your life, but there are cases where you've been in a mistress relationship for years and before you know it, you're past the marriageable age and you can't take it back. .I listened to the story of a woman who has been her mistress for many years.

A woman who has been having an affair since she was a student

Eriko (pseudonym, 40 years old) lives in Tokyo and works as a contract employee.She has an exotic atmosphere and is a beautiful woman who can be mistaken for a model.

"I have bad luck with men."

That's what Eriko said in her love life, all of whom are older men.I'm going to self-analyze that the reason is related to the fact that my father divorced when I was a child.

“When I was in college, I dated a 45-year-old company executive. I like older men because they are kind and I can afford it financially. Brand bags were popular, so I often got them as presents. Now that I think about it, I might have learned the nature of being a lover from that time..."

In her 20s, Eriko had little desire to get married and enjoyed free-spirited romance with older men, but in her late 20s, her friends around her were in a rush to get married...Eriko began to think about marriage, and even though she started dating a man of the same generation, she had a hard time getting rid of the habit of treating her older men as a matter of course.

■ Dedicate your late 30s to your mistress

Such Eriko was a man's mistress for five years from the age of 34.

"I can't give you a detailed job description, but he is a fairly famous person in a certain industry. We met at a party in the industry. When I fell in love with him and started dating, I found out he was married."

Eriko felt that she could not have an affair due to her age, so she tried to say goodbye to him.However, she tells him that she was forced to divorce her wife soon.

"But even after months of dating, he didn't seem to be divorcing. At first, I was excited, but then I started to lose heart. After the contract ended and I started looking for a job, we weren't even dating anymore, so he said he would pay the rent for the apartment until I found a job."

Eriko says that due to a little coincidence of timing, she has reverted back to her mistress life.A few months later, Eriko was able to work for her current company, but he said that he still helped her with living expenses.

"Just after that, I entered the corona wreck and stayed at home, so I ended up being spoiled by him. But before I knew it, I was already in my late 30s. I still want to get married and have children. When will he divorce me? When I asked him if he was going to do it, he would dodge it, and each time I said, 'I'm done! I'm breaking up!'

■ 40 years old with no savings, marriage is difficult

From Eriko's point of view, there's no merit in exposing her even though she wants to break up quickly and start looking for a marriage partner.After repeated fights and persuasion, she finally broke up with him six months ago.

"But just because we broke up, it didn't mean that I could find a lover right away. When it comes to matchmaking, the 40-year-old barrier is severe, and the options for matching apps and matchmaking parties are limited by the age limit. Also, even if you look at the income of men on profiles, you can't meet an ideal person.In the past, I wasn't interested in marriage, but I don't know when my job will be cut and I don't have any savings.I'm worried about the future. It can't be helped..."

Will Eriko, who has been a mistress for a long time, be able to live a satisfying life in a normal household?Having an older man look after your finances may be a good idea while you are young.

However, once you have tasted the umami, ordinary love will not be enough.Before Eriko pursues her ideal marriage partner, it may be first for her to regain the sense of love that she lost during her school days.

Writers: 
Over 88000 Twitter followers. A married woman who works as an OL at an IT company and writes mindset guide articles for romance media.

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