Spinning Threads ~ Keeping in Mind for Long-Term Relationships

Hello, I'm Ren.

Last year, I received only one new offer, and I have spent my time cherishing (?) the relationships I have cultivated.

We continue to meet with a limited number of people once or twice a month.

I think there are various ways to get along, but I've come this far with the stance that I want to face a specific person in its own way.

This time, I would like to write about my own way of thinking about the case of wanting a long-term relationship.
 

 What I wanted to meet at the dating club

As I wrote in my previous column, I signed up for the dating club as a way to fill the gaps in my married life that I could never fill.

In that sense, I have many desires to satisfy my desire for approval as a man.

Therefore, rather than enjoying short-term encounters with various people, I adopt a style of dating that fosters relationships with specific people.

As a result, I've been dating several people so far, but thanks to their efforts, I think we've been able to create a good relationship, albeit with some gradation.

I can't change the other party, but as long as I myself want to create a continuous relationship, (apart from whether the other party responds), I will make efforts and make adjustments without hesitation. to


In particular…

・ Ingenuity of the place to eat (Because women of good age have a discerning taste in their own way...)
・ Hotels are also devised (various surveys are important)
・ Ingenuity of date content (so as not to become a rut)
・ Souvenirs unique to business trip destinations (surprisingly effective)
・ Production of a special feeling when you can meet on the anniversary (this is double-edged, but ...)


…etc.It's not a big deal, but I don't think it's a negative thing to be sharp or give priority to the other person's preferences and convenience.
 

risk

As long as you are human, you will feel no small amount of affection for the other person with whom you have spent time.

Also, there are quite a few times when I feel like the other person's feelings have returned because of something interesting.

And I think there is a trap here.

In general, men (just me!? lol) are more likely to get excited, and if you forget that it's a "non-permanent relationship" that involves "money" in the first place, there will definitely be a gap between the stance of women and the result. I think that they will take actions that will destroy the continuous relationship.

Sadly, I strongly feel my "weakness" when I can't get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness. That's what I think.

Essentially, I think it's a risk that can happen to both men and women.

That's why, as I wrote in my previous column, dating multiple people at the same time (to the extent that you can handle it) is never a bad thing in the sense that it reduces such risks, as long as it's just for fun. I don't think so.

I think the basic idea is to end the relationship if one of you becomes distressed.
 

Merit

I think that this is all about "being able to do pseudo-romance".

You can feel like you are “dating” in a pseudo manner.

It's not as strong as a relationship of trust, but you can make something like that.

As a result, an appropriate sense of distance between each person is created.

In some cases, you may have a close relationship on a relatively regular basis, and in other cases, you may become spoiled only when you meet.

However, I think it's interesting that the important thing is that they're all original and that they're all comfortable.

This may be because there are people who are close to each other on a daily basis, and there are people who are usually indifferent but get spoiled when they meet.


No matter how vague the relationship is, it's very comfortable to have a lot of conversations.

It's a private report since the last time we met, and suddenly "Thank you for your daily life". . .

Giving and being given something is very healing.

If something is given to me, I feel like I should give something back. I try to remember the content of conversations with people.

I think that the "process of weaving relationships" around here is a unique aspect (real thrill?) of a long-term relationship.


However, I always try to be conscious of the fact that it is a relationship that can end at any time.
 

Points to keep in mind when continuing a relationship

If I were to say this, it would be silly to say it, but I think it means "to act as a person who wishes to continue the relationship".


That is,

・ Do not break promises (keep dating conditions, do not be late, etc.)
・ Apologize if you break a promise
・ Thank you (although it may be basic as a person)
・ Treat others with care (maybe it means respecting others)
・ Never mistake the person you are talking to (this is a risky place to do it)


I think that it means to continue "what is normal if you want to continue the relationship with the other party".

Of course, there are concerns that the other person will get carried away, but none of the people I'm dating now seem to be like that.

On the contrary, I even feel that they are treated with respect.

On the contrary, if I am treated roughly, I think that I will only choose "natural extinction".

As a result, I think there is also an aspect that it is possible to connect because there is mutual merit.

This time, I tried to do what I was trying to do with the theme of a long-term relationship.

As a result, I feel that I have been working with people who have a certain degree of rapport with Kirei Koto.

In the end, I think that it is gradually taking shape by spinning thin fibers into threads.

I wonder if it's because we have a mutual will that we spin that thread.

On the other hand, I think it's a delicate relationship that can easily end if it's not compatible or if it's judged that there's no advantage to one of them.

Len