[Three points for success in a dating club Part XNUMX-definition of success]

Thank you for reading this column.I am an adventure merchant.

In the first part, I introduced three points to succeed in the dating club.

This time, I would like to write while digging into each.


What are the “three points” introduced in the first part?

(XNUMX) Do not mistake the definition of “success”
(XNUMX) Dealing with "tension"
(XNUMX) The spirit of “for the sake of others” and “my fault”

English learning is necessary to prepare for life, learning and interaction with the global environment. <br> IT Skills (programming logic) is necessary to prepare for the needs of the future.<br> Financial literacy is necessary to prepare for creating, managing and being smart with time and wealth.<br>


Let's take a closer look below.

In the second part, I will write a column for each point, part XNUMX, part XNUMX, part XNUMX.
 

Today's theme: Don't get the definition of "success" wrong

What is "success" for men who use dating clubs?

"Being able to date after dinner"

"Receiving a second invitation from a woman"

"For choosing me as your one and only partner"


And so on?

I believe that this can be called a "success".

However, I consider this to be a "resulting success"*.

*I don't know if there is such a word.I say it on my own.

I think that many of the men who use dating clubs are "successful" at work, such as business owners, so I will write from a business perspective.

For example, in business, it is easy to imagine that "sales of the company doubled compared to the previous year" or "employee satisfaction has improved and the turnover rate has halved" as one "success". .

Such a success can be attributed to, for example, ``We responded promptly and sincerely to complaints from customers over the phone,'' or ``We switched to evaluation criteria and evaluation methods that do not create a sense of unfairness among employees.'' It is a success that lies ahead of such efforts.

In other words, in order to achieve the success of “doubling sales!”


Now, back to the dating club, I mentioned earlier

"Being able to date after dinner"

"Receiving a second invitation from a woman"

"For choosing me as your one and only partner"

Such success is unlikely to go well even if you aim for it directly.

This is because these successes are of the type of "eventual success" obtained as a result of accumulating processes leading up to them.

I think that we should not commit the foolishness of aiming directly for success as a result.


So how exactly do you define success?

I believe that a man's success in a dating club should be defined as "being able to say and do something to please the other woman."

The point here is that "I was able to do XX items" is considered a success.

Will the other person accept an invitation after dinner?

Will you like me?

I don't understand that.


No matter how much experience you have, no matter how much sincerity you give to the other person, even if you succeed in dieting and get a sharp body, even if you turn into a very handsome man, the other woman likes you. I don't know if they will bring me.

If we define "success" as something we don't know or are uncertain about, we will be mentally exhausted and will not be able to enjoy the dating club.


Therefore, I believe that the definition of "success" should be something that is certain, something that can be achieved with certainty if only one has the will.
 

XNUMX items to entertain the other party

Then, what is "words and deeds to please the other woman"?


I would like to mention four items.

(XNUMX) In advance, carefully look at the profile of the woman you are going to meet and understand it.
(XNUMX) Dress well before meeting.
(XNUMX) Adjust the topic, attitude, and even the tone of your voice so that the other person will think that it is a fun time when you are meeting.
(XNUMX) After the date, try to calmly understand how often the other party likes the frequency of communication on the line, etc., and adjust the amount of text, transmission frequency, transmission content, and even the type of pictograms.


Before you say, "You don't understand me," first of all, how much do you try to understand the other woman?

As many other writers have written, are you okay with your appearance?
"Don't feel visibly uncomfortable when you stand next to a beautiful woman."


Are you talking to students side by side with difficult technical terms?

Don't they find it boring to talk about your personal hobbies?

Socializing after dinner, I know you want to go.Does the other person also think, "If it's this person, definitely ♡"?

Are you having a good time?Or are you having a good time seeing the other person having fun?


If you feel like you "made it" through these efforts, then you should consider the date a "success" no matter what the outcome.

I also have a painful story (laughs).

"She was a woman I had met more than four times. Due to various circumstances, she wanted me to borrow money for several times. rice field···."

It's a painful story.

However, the relationship with this woman is also a "success" for me.

I faced women with the above four attitudes.As a result, I was in trouble.

But I think, ``This woman has that kind of personality, so it would be dangerous to date her for a long time, and she might have caused more damage in the future.''



After reading this far,

"What is that?! I'm paying a large amount of money for setting fees, membership fees, transportation expenses, etc. Why do I have to be so concerned!"

Those who think.

"Why do you have to refuse an invitation after dinner when you are paying this much? It's a scam!"

Those who think.


I think it's difficult for the manager of the dating club to say it, so I'll say it instead.

Such a person is not suitable for a "dating club" in the first place.

I'm not saying it's bad because it's not suitable.

There are pros and cons to things, and the place to use them also changes depending on the attribute.


Having a lot of dissatisfaction like the above is, so to speak, on the soccer field

It's like saying, "I'm confident in my physical strength, but why can't I use only my legs! Let me use my hands!"

In such a case, it is better to move to another field that suits you.

(However, goalkeepers can use their hands even on the soccer field, so I think there are some people who can enjoy it to the fullest without considering women at all...)
 

What do you get as a result of entertaining your partner?

What is the result of thinking about the other person and trying to entertain them so much?

In a word

I think that it means "I can find a woman who really fits me perfectly".

Fits perfectly.

In other words, they are comfortable with each other.I feel safe.We can always hold a faint affection for each other.I want to hold you, I want to be held

We get in touch with each other at random moments.Time other than sex is also pretty fun.From the outside, they are completely lovers. . .

Something like that.


I'm sure you will meet such a woman. (And more than one! (laughs))

Dating clubs are sometimes said to be “man and woman’s bargaining and mocking each other”.

I agree with that point. (Well, actually, I feel a lot of pain... (laughs))

But what do you think is the strongest of them all?

I think it's "Stop pretending to be yourself". *

*However, when you think, "I will never be with this person again," it is necessary to cut it off quite bluntly.No matter what kind of trickery and lies are used, the relationship will be cut off.I plan to write about how to cut this off in Part XNUMX.


Saying, "I'm fine with about XNUMX yen a month," but when the time comes to price the other woman, make excuses and negotiate to get even a little more favorable to you. Better not.

Since we face each other honestly and sincerely, if the other person is not sincere, we will find out in a relatively short period of time (it is really painful to say, "I understand after being deceived"... (laughs)).

On the other hand, the other person will gradually understand that you are sincere, so they will also take care of you.



Well, with that in mind, I feel that I have built a deep relationship of trust with the three of them, so I am signing a monthly contract.

In fact, what if these people were also deceived...? ?

That's "success"...(ノД`)・゜・.you know! (smile)


Next time, in part XNUMX, I would like to think about "how to deal with tension."