To you who do not have a long-lasting relationship with dad activities

Nice to meet you, I'm Carilla who usually works in Tokyo.
I've been with my current regular for about a year and a half, so we go out to play every week, and sometimes we go to Okinawa or a hot spring town to stay overnight.
Due to a certain fate, I was able to write a column here.

Why doesn't it last?

There are several stages in dad life.
From "face-to-face" to "second and third meals", eventually it becomes a "regular relationship" where you meet several times a month.
However, it is not uncommon for both men and women to have no contact despite having made a new appointment at a meeting, or suddenly cut off contact after the second or third meeting.
And you will be looking for a new relationship without knowing "what went wrong?"
It was fun to talk to each other, and even at the hotel, we felt good about each other, so why?

Think about it.
Suppose you find a restaurant that looks very delicious by looking at Tabelog.
The pictures of the food are good and the reviews are good, so you want to go.
And when you actually visit, the atmosphere is quite good and the food is delicious and satisfying.
When I was about to leave, the chef came to see me off, and you"It was delicious. I will come again."and say hello.
But I think on my way home.
"I wonder if I don't have to come anymore"When.
Isn't this just the feeling you feel when you're a dad?

What restaurant would you like to visit?

But I'm sure you have too.
There are restaurants and cafés that you will visit again and again.
What is the difference between a shop that is enough to visit once and a shop that you want to visit regularly?
that is"Is it special for you?"Is the difference.

If so, you will be able to meet again and again if you become a special existence for the opponent.
"I don't need to be special because I'm doing dad activities for money."
Some women will feel that way.
But even youfor daddyIf you become a special existence, you will receive more stable benefits than ever beforeIt's supposed to be, so if you can do it, it's better.
Especially if there are multiple women in the daddy, it may be subject to replacement someday.
Like restaurants, Papa Katsu Market is always visited by young and beautiful women.
The same is true on the dad side, and there may be a new dad who is handsome, young, and has money.
But no matter how many new shops open,A special store for youIf there is, I will continue to go there.

If,If there is a "method to become a special existence", you should try it.
There is no one who feels bad because the other person thinks they are more special than anyone else.
Then what should I do.
First,"What was special to you in the past"Please remember
It doesn't matter if it's "favorite clothes", "favorite book", or "favorite bag or accessory".
How long has it been "special"?
1 year? 5 years? 10 years?Or...
yes, no matter how"Favorite and Special"There comes a time when you get bored.
Because things don't change.

Now, there is one more thing I want you to remember.
i said that before"A shop you visit several times a year".
This doesn't have to be a restaurant, so it could be "GUCCI" or "Louis Vuitton", "a coffee shop with delicious coffee in the neighborhood", "a small museum in a quiet town", or "like a hideout". "French restaurant" maybe.
everyone"A place you will visit many times in your life"There should be
What is it special for you?
So, if that "special" comes to mind, think about it.
"Why do you keep coming back there?".
There are many reasons for this, and there is no single one that comes to mind.

What is a special place?

Papa activities are done by people who are satisfied to some extent.
For men, it's someone who can afford to spend on allowances, restaurants, and hotels, and for women, it's someone who has some confidence in their worth.
SuchA place where even satisfied people want to visit again and again, that is "special existence".
Don't get me wrong, that special existence is not "McDonald's", "Kentucky Fried Chicken" or "Yoshinoya".
“Places that serve cheap and junky food” definitely have repeat demand, but not at Papa-katsu.
We need something like a conglomerate that people who are fulfilled to some extent but not fulfilled in some way will visit again and again.

Imagine.
One day you went to your favorite restaurant.
It's usually a very relaxing place, and you're a regular customer.
However, today the store is busy and the staff are busy with other customers, making me feel uncomfortable.
Normally, I would stay for two hours chatting with the staff, but today I left the store in less than an hour.
Because I felt like the staff looked down on me.
And for some reason, I don't go to the store as it is.

Didn't you actually have such an experience?
The first time I thought it was good, I went to the store 3, 4, no, 10 times, but I stopped going because I thought it was enough.
This is the same feeling that you feel towards the other person, "I don't need to see you anymore."
And the other person will say to you, "I don't need to see you anymore."I totally agree with your feelings.
Yes, a "special existence" is by no means eternal.
So what should we do?

understand your needs

As I said earlier, there's a reason why you want to visit the same store over and over again.
"I like the staff's customer service attitude"
"Staff always working hard"
"Relaxing atmosphere"
"You can see the commitment"
"Very delicious sweets are served every season"
"I'm looking forward to the new work," etc.
There are various reasons for this.
Conversely,There is always a reason why the other person wants to see you againIt is
So that you have a reason to think "I'm done".

Once you know this, the rest is easy.
Find out why the other person wants to meet you and value it.
If the reason is that it is fun to be with them, that they get along well, that they heal you, that you can respect them, or that you can learn from them, then you should not let your guard down.
In any high-end restaurant, if the "staff" or "chef" cut corners, it will be spotted immediately.
If the reason is "cute", "nice style", "comfortable to hold", "nice to look at", etc., then it's certain that you'll eventually get tired of it, and you may need to find other value. .
No matter how good the restaurant is, if you always serve the same menu, you will get tired of it.
At first, they may pass because it is new, but once they know the bottom, they will get tired of it.
If it is a high-end restaurant that costs 5 to 10 yen from a man's point of view, it is even more so.
It's normal for women to choose if there are countless delicious free restaurants.
No matter how much you give your allowance, it doesn't mean that you will continue to attend.

A Final Word

In conclusion, you are someone'sThe reason for continuing to be a ``special existence'' is not a temporary oneabout it.
To put it the other way around, there must have been a lot of restaurants that I thought, "Let's go two or three times."
I will revisit for trivial reasons such as "it was delicious", "the atmosphere was good", and "I liked the customer service".
But 5 times, 10 times, 50 times is a different story.
To go long, you need a reason to go long.
"I'm pretty and I look good" or "I'm paying enough" doesn't last.
You have a lot of competition, so you have to come up with reasons to keep them coming back regularly.
People pay for "materials" and "experiences", but it is "experiences" that lasts the longest.
That is,The time spent with you is special to the other personmust be

If you can't last long with anyone, please think about it.
What do you offer your partner?