【Questions】

Please tell me how to live happily without asking for anything in return.Does asking for something in return mean that love does not exist for that person?

 

・URL https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/5726

【Answer】

Thank you very much for your question.

First of all, let me assure you that a person who ignores nonsense such as "love is not asking for anything in return" is not "a person who doesn't want anything in return" but an "arrogant person who doesn't want to pay in return".Even devout religious people are able to remain devout believers only because they are rewarded with "God's charity."

As long as we are humans, it is only natural for us to seek rewards.Or rather, even a dog would love a human who would give him more care than his owner would.

Therefore, there is no need to worry about words that don't make sense, such as "If you want something in return, there is no love."Of course, I don't think it's a good idea to demand too much in return, but you can't love without a return, and people can love others only because there is a return.

Seeking reward, but donburi bill

Let's say you went out to dinner with two friends and the bill was 10,002 yen for the two of you.I ordered a platter, so I don't know how much each of us ate.I don't think there are many people who split the bill by 5,001 yen in detail at such times.

One of them will probably pay 5,000 yen and the other person will bear 5,002 yen.

I think that there are almost no people who make a fuss about this XNUMX yen difference on the spot.After all, it's only XNUMX yen, and I feel like the other person paid more when we went out to eat together before.Well, I don't know which one has paid more in total so far, but it's probably about the same.

It is natural to expect love in return, but if you want love to be deep and long lasting, I think that this kind of accounting is necessary.

There's nothing wrong with asking for feedback.However, it would be futile to say that there was no reward for each case, such as "He bought a souvenir the other day, but he didn't have a souvenir from him when he went on a business trip." I can't help but be clogged.

As sloppy as possible, think as much as possible in a donburi account. ``I bought a souvenir the other day, but he went on a business trip and didn't give me a souvenir, but I think he got it before that. Don't worry if you didn't get at least one reward.

Of course, even though it's a donburi account, an account is an account.No matter how rough your calculations are, there will be times when the balance doesn't add up.In such a case, there is no problem even if you get angry that "There is no reward!"

Perhaps the questioner is frustrated that there is no reward for his dedication, saying, "I did XX...".And I think that you are disillusioned with yourself who has asked for such a reward.

But don't be disillusioned.Human beings are creatures that can love people because they are rewarded for their love.Of course, this reward isn't just physical things like cash and bags, but there are various things such as smiles, actions, and comfort, but only God can love someone without anything in return. prize.

Instead of thinking about rewards on a case-by-case basis, such as "I did XX...", please think from the perspective of whether there is a more general reward overall.If you think about whether or not there is a reward for each small case, the questioner's mind will only get sick.

It's like a fraction when splitting the bill with a friend.I don't blame each and every one of them, but if I think about it as if it's all about the same, then I won't get caught up in each and every one of them.