2023/12/21
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How do you relieve stress from being a father? Vol.2

 

be aware of your own limits

If women were stress-free when it came to being a father, wouldn't they be able to demonstrate their power even more than they currently do?

Of course, each person feels and stores stress differently.

So, is there a way for me to do this? I may only be able to introduce the following.

However, speaking from my experience, I would be happy if I could be of some help to those who are feeling stressed about being a father.

Now that I think about it, I feel that there were quite a few reasons why I was not aware of my own skills because I naturally felt stress while working as a father.

Each human being has something called their capacity.

If you exceed that, you're over your capacity, and you won't be able to solve the problem unless you use more than your original power.

However, if you are a woman who has the constitution to be able to exceed your original strength by exceeding your capacity, you will be able to clear the challenge with ease.

However, most people feel that this is a wall and cannot clear it.

And then he starts to struggle.

Let's say this happened while I was working as a dad.

Here's an example of what I actually experienced.

In a conversation with my dad, politics came up.

Naturally, I didn't watch the news at all at the time.

As a result, even when someone talks about politics, I can't understand it.

However, during the conversation with her father, she pretended to know everything and pretended to be a woman who was always interested in politics. She (I think she wanted to be seen as a smart woman)

 

Then, people would say things like, ``I don't care what the economy is like in any country, this is what Japan's politics should be like, right?''

Naturally, Dad asks me for a Q&A.

However, when I have a conversation with a knowledgeable person and I have no knowledge of the matter, more and more lies are revealed, and the conversation becomes completely dark.

By that time, you can imagine that the atmosphere has become such that you can't say, ``I was lying. I'm an idiot who doesn't watch the news at all.''

Then, I'm sure my dad is tired because he was lied to, but I'm also pretty tired and starting to feel stressed because I've covered up that lie with lies. (Even though it's a lie you've told yourself, it's convenient, isn't it?However, this kind of stress is common among dads.)

But what if you knew the limits of your own knowledge? Don't you think the results would be different? If you say, ``I don't understand politics, so please explain to me,'' at the beginning, you will give a completely different impression to your father, and the burden on your own mental health will be reduced considerably. .

This is the part I'm talking about now: "Know your limits first."

If you understand and know your limits in advance, you won't dare to cross any dangerous bridges during the conversation, and the other man won't try to push you too hard.

In particular, in the case of dad-hunting, the goals of both the woman and the man are clear to some extent, so the man who will become a father also says, ``If I force myself any further, it will be bullying, and there is a possibility that the contract will be canceled.'' That's what I feel.

So, unless our side shows some strange talent, nothing will happen.

This should lead to ``nothing happening = feeling relaxed and stress-free.''

Also, in my experience, all men who become fathers are very intelligent, so if I'm ignorant, it's usually obvious.

Therefore, if you overreach, you often end up losing money.

Get in the habit of saying what you think out loud.

This type is most common among women who tend to accumulate stress.

In particular, when it comes to father-hunting, men who become fathers are often much older than women.

As a result, they are unable to say what they think on the spot and hold back, which results in stress and a pattern that progresses in a negative direction.

I also had quite a bit of experience with this in the past.

It takes a lot of courage to say something out loud.

This is especially difficult for shy children.

But hey, why can't a shy child speak out? I feel like the majority of people say this because they're worried that they'll talk back, or they're worried that they won't accept it.

Actually, even though I look like this, I'm a pretty shy woman in my private life.

For this reason, when I first started working as a father, I always had the above problems.

Therefore, if I had a reunion with my middle school classmates, I'm confident that I'd be back to my usual shy self.

A woman who can't say what's on her mind and hoards it.

However, when it comes to being a dad, I don't want you to worry.

Dad is not the same generation as us.

For that reason, there are very few men who talk back to me in a strange way, and they are very mature in their responses.

Moreover, the percentage of men who accept our thoughts is quite high.

Of course, there are quite a few men who will talk back, and there are also men who won't accept your feelings.

But I'm a dad, right?

If you say so, there is no contract cancellation for people of the same generation, but it is a daddy activity.

Therefore, it is better to express your feelings without holding back.

Nowadays, there are even convenient apps such as LINE, so I think there are many women who find it easier to consult with someone via text.

It may be difficult to change a woman's original personality 180 degrees.

But even if you don't change the basic part, is it okay to have at least the outer part (the heart to try)? I think.

I think it takes a lot of courage for women who have never tried something like that before and are stressed out.

However, if you just try to break down this wall a little, the scenery you see will change considerably.

There is also a possibility that the things you used to worry about due to stress will be significantly reduced, and for some women, there is a possibility that they will no longer be bothered by it.

I would appreciate it if you could give it a try, even if it's just a little at a time.

By the way, at that time, when I plucked up the courage to tell my dad what I was feeling, my stress went away considerably, and I was able to start a relationship with a dad who had a different personality than I would have chosen before.

Writers: 
The shock when I first learned about the dating club was amazing.Since then, I've been hooked.We will continue to transmit reality from a female perspective.

Articles by Kumiko Mine

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