Will you overcome your lethargy and satisfy your desires, or will you become lethargic with your desires?

Hello.flag maker.

Before getting into the main subject of the column, first of all, let me announce the upcoming Papa Katsu Summit.

 

Actually, this trouble / question, application for dad life episode,at the momentでseveralOnly came (laughs)

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We are looking forward to your application!Please feel free to apply.

 

 

This column is a continuation of the following columns.

"The times go round and round.Joy and sadness repeat."

"Do you know the world's oldest martial art "Turkish Sumo"?"

 

In my spinning column, I was searching for ``free dating that is not bound by market prices,'' but in the end, I realized that I was looking for ``heartfelt dating,'' and I fell in love with this woman.

And after a while, the level of "heart-to-heart" and "adult relationship" that I want does not exist in this world.I come to the conclusion.

In other words, the conclusion is that there are two choices: ``a normal relationship with hearts'' or ``an adult relationship with hearts that don't get along''.

In the Turkish column, I will continue the plain offensive and defensive battle without any allowance in order to get to know her.

In the middle of it, I like her so much that I can't even decide whether to use the final secret move "Divorce and Propose" that puts my life on the line.I was fighting with the determination that it would be such a serious battle.

However, the battle unexpectedly develops into a “slimy oil Turkish sumo”.

To put it simply, it will be an unexpected entertainment development called "men's massage with sexy cosplay".

And I was expecting entertainment development after the next time, but this was also unexpected.This column will be a serious illness development.

 

What is this development?

 

Is it an anime in the Inotamina frame?smile

 

That's the start of this column.

 

Will you overcome your lethargy and satisfy your desires, or will you become lethargic with your desires?

(Quote: THA BLUE HERB "The times change PART II")

 

This is a lyric from one of my favorite artists, The Blue Herb.

My music is basically a rock field.From my experience as a club DJ, I also cover club music.Hip-hop is a weak field.

However, I have been listening to the hip-hop group The Blue Herb since high school.It's a mystery that the lyrics come to me more after I become an old man.he loves

It is extremely rude to quote such a passage from such a favorite artist in such a silly column, but in the course of my activities, this passage frequently crosses my mind.

 

"Defeat lethargy and satisfy desire"

In other words, is it happiness to prioritize greed and satisfy greed?

 

"Become lethargic by desire itself"

In other words, is it happiness to throw away greed and not be trapped by greed?

 

Which one do you think will make you happier?

 

I think there are various ideas, but IHappiness is "being lethargic by greed itself"I think it is.

The reason why I'm recklessly defeating my lethargy and satisfying my desires is "to become lethargic by desire itself".

By thoroughly satisfying my desires, I believe that the day will come when my desires will be satisfied and full, and I will be lethargic by my desires.

Of course, the "greed" here is limited to women and sexual desires.

However, even if you thoroughly satisfy your desires, isn't it possible that you will become lethargic about the desires themselves?It's this episode that comes to mind.

In other words, I seem to have misunderstood the training method.

 

Oh, that's why.

 

That's why I was going round and round in the same place (laughs)

 

Sudden SOS from her

The entertainment-like men's battle with her, which I wrote about in my last column, happened in spring.

After that, did she become busy with work, or did she lose interest in me?or both.Anyway, I spent the summer not seeing her even once.

It's the first time I can't meet you like this.A little bit of anxiety is over.

And the seasons change, from summer to autumn.The seasons change.

I only occasionally interact with her on line.After a long time, she finally had a date scheduled, but it was canceled due to her circumstances.The reason for the cancellation, whether work or another reason, is unknown.

I have a clear crush on her.However, if this period of not being able to see each other continues, my feelings will grow older and older.

I wonder if I won't see you again.sad.I thought vaguely.

At that time, my feelings for her were getting older and older.

 

She said, "Is it okay if I call you tonight?"

A line from her out of the blue.

Until now, I've called on occasion, but it's the first time I've ever called for the sake of a phone call.

I said, "Once you're done, you'll be fine."

I'm a little nervous about it, so I'll do some research.

I said, "What's wrong?"

she"····"

“I may have been scammed,” she said.

Me: “Yeah.

She said, "Thank you."

This is an unexpected development.I'm more worried about whether it's okay.

I will do my best to finish the work quickly and call her.

 

I said, "I'm sorry I'm late! Are you okay?"

she"······"

She cries so much that she can't speak.I didn't expect her to be in such a heavy condition.

After she calmed down a little, she finally began to tell me the details of the matter. (There is a fake to prevent personal identification)

 

・While work became difficult from around spring, I could not earn much and money was getting tight.

・I didn't have money, so I worked part-time on my days off and managed to make it through the month.

・At that time, a man I met at that part-time job told me a good story about investing.

・I was in trouble with the payment after spending a lot of money, so I got on the story.

・A few days after I gave the man a large sum of money in cash, I lost contact with him.

・It was later found out that the man's identity and address were fake.

・ On the other hand, I am afraid that if I tell the police about my personal information, I will have a grudge against them.

・I have a large payment to make in the near future, but I don't have enough money to pay it.

 

If you think about it normally, it's "stupid".

I think you think, "Isn't it worse to be deceived?"I think so too.

She also fully understands that if she talks about this story, the other person will think she's "stupid" and will be attracted to her.

However, she was cornered in a desperate situation in the first place to the extent that she got on such a banal fraud story.

That's why I couldn't talk to my parents or anyone, and I was worried about myself and fell into self-loathing, and I couldn't eat and sleep.

Then he mustered up the courage to contact me.

 

I never thought she would find herself in such a situation.

(That's why I couldn't make time to meet, or the date was canceled..)

She is crying on the other end of the phone.I thought that even if I talked on the phone, I would not be able to understand it,

Me: "Wait a minute. Rather than talking on the phone, I'll meet you and listen to what you have to say. Anyway, I'll go over there now. I'll hang up the phone for now."

She said, "Thank you."

I'm going to jump in my car and go see her.

 

Is it alright?I'm really worried.

Just in case, I thought that it would be enough to survive on the spot, so I withdrew the money.

She probably won't accept it.

She doesn't want to accept money from me anyway.She's been that way since we started dating.From what I've seen so far, it's pretty clear.

So while blowing the car"How to persuade her to receive money"I think.

I think it's a bit of a strange idea.

 

While I was thinking about such things, I arrived.

 

in the car

she came on foot.You can see that she is crying even from a distance.

She said, "I'm really sorry. It's been a long time since we've met, but I'm talking like this, and I look like I'm in shambles. If we were to meet, I'd have wanted to meet with a more energetic and beautiful me."

Me: "It's okay. There are times like that. Anyway, I'll listen."

She said, "Thank you."

Since it is late and the shops are not open, I will move to the inside of the car for the time being.

She said, "Actually..."

She begins to talk about the circumstances of this time in a thin voice while crying.

I nod while listening intently to her story.

 

・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・

 

I think I listened to it for about two hours.

It seems that things have finally calmed down somewhat since the beginning.

She said, “Thank you.

I said, "It was good."

Me: "But... that impending payment..."

she"····"

 

Silence follows.

Because we know each other.By the time she contacted me, she would probably bring me the money.I feel guilty about it.But she had no choice but to contact me.

On the other hand, I also know that she feels guilty about accepting the money and doesn't want to accept it.

彼女 が"I want you to help me with money"If you say so, things are simple, but it's not so, so it's difficult.

I'm used to giving allowances to girls who are active as dads, and I'm paralyzed by giving money to women.If you think about it normally, the act of giving money to a female friend is "not normal"Hm.

And since my girlfriend and I became friends after having an adult relationship, that feeling is even more complicated.

 

She knows exactly what I'm doing, so she'll skip a few turns in replying.

She said, "No, I can't do that! Even if you met me and listened to what I had to say, I was saved, but I can't rely on you anymore."

I said, "Hmm. Then how do I pay?"

She said, "It's my fault, so I'll work hard and get a part-time job and do something about it. It's okay!"

Me: “I understand, but that physical and mental condition will ruin your body.

she said "yes..."

I said, "I've brought enough money to make ends meet, so let's get by with this for now."

She said, "No, I absolutely cannot accept that!"

She said, "Because that money is the money that ○○-kun worked hard and earned? Besides, he has a family and children, and that money is for his family, not for me. I can't accept it. ”

I feel like I can't say anything when I'm told the most honest things.

The act of handing over the family's money to someone in exchange for their own greed in ordinary dad activities.It is made to recognize again that it is very dirty.

On the other hand, what she is saying is, ``I can't accept the money because I can't give it back to you.'' In other words,"I can't receive it because I can't return it due to my physical relationship."I also fully understand what it means.

It's a difficult situation.

 

When this money in my hand was in her hands,The relationship that each other seeks for each other collapsesIt is

 

I don't think she particularly likes me, but I think she has at least a friendly interest.

On the other hand, what I like about her is obvious to her.

Taking advantage of my goodwill to receive money is a fraud.Cunningly using my feelings to get financial support.Such guilt refuses my support.

“I absolutely cannot accept that,” she said.

But I have no one to help me.And the cruel reality that the payment deadline is approaching is in front of you.And there is no concrete solution for it.

 

She has no choice but to get help from me.

I like her, so if I come this far, I have no choice but to support her.

But when you do that, it's obvious that each other cares about each other.Friendships become unbalanced.I hate that too.

I don't want to go to such a goal.

Then what should we do?

 

In that case, I have no choice but to take this money in a form that doesn't have a sense of "loan".

No, rather, it might be less of a burden on her mentally to have a form of "loaning" as much as possible, in other words, "I'll give you money, so let me have sex once a week," but that's the kind of relationship that both she and I want. So no.

I will shift in a direction that will lessen her emotional burden and guilt.

 

I said, ``Then let's just lend this money instead of giving it to you.

"But right now, it's okay if you don't decide 'by when'. Anyway, for now, just think about how to get through this emergency, and think about the rest after that."

"Now that I've heard about the situation, I can't help you halfway. If you don't get me back to a safe life, I can't feel relieved. I can't sleep either (laughs)."

"So take this for now. Let's get through this together somehow."

Of course, I have no intention of getting it back, but if I don't express it like this, I won't understand.

Even after further discussion, we could not come up with a mutually acceptable compromise, so I arbitrarily put the envelope in her bag.

 

Trying to stop my hand, she grabbed my hand, but at that moment, as if the thread that had been tense was broken, she burst into tears again.

Whether it was a sense of relief, guilt, gratitude, or other emotions, I think all sorts of emotions came pouring out of me.

 

She said, "I'm sorry. Thank you."

I said, "Okay."

I will stay with her until she calms down again.

 

There are things I can do and things I can't do.

I happened to be contacted on a day when I had a free schedule, and I rushed over immediately, and I can help as much as I can.

On the other hand, I can't stand by her crying side all the time and support her.A friend is a friend, but I'm a "married friend" so that's the limit.I have to go home today as well.

I love her, but that doesn't mean I can't do anything.

 

She seems to have finally calmed down.

Me: "Are you feeling a little better? For now, take a good rest, eat your meals little by little, and don't get sick."

She said, "Yeah. Thank you. I hope I can get some sleep."

I said, "Be careful. See you later."

She said, "Thank you very much. See you soon."

 

I start my car and drive home on the midnight road.The street trees illuminated by the streetlights gradually look like autumn.

I was a DJ when I was a student. Of course, DJs play their favorite songs, but their job is to read the mood of the floor and play songs that the audience wants at the right time.

So which song fits my current mood?

I search for the best song from the song list of about XNUMX songs in my brain.

yes.I wonder if this is it.At times like this, I always stop by my favorite artists.

 

Falling out of the rearview mirror

Feeling happy, feeling lonely

It's like I got hit by cold medicine

in such a mood

I'm too busy to meet you

It's getting hotter and hotter

I want to enjoy this season with you by my side

Call the wind, call the wind, call you by my side

Running through the seasons, it's almost autumn

(Quote: Fishmans "SEASON")

 

As expected, it's perfect for my current mood.My DJ skills haven't weakened either.I don't know if I'm happy or lonely, tears overflow.

How did she feel about this case?I hope this helps, but I feel like it's going to be a burden on her.

No one can visualize the human mind.

I can only read the atmosphere somehow even if I can.

I don't know what is right or what is wrong.

We simply "choose" various events that happen in front of us.

No one knows the future one second ahead.

What is the ultimate best choice?I don't understand that.

At such times, I give priority to my honest feelings.

 

I love you, so I will help you.

 

After that, after I finished work, I would go over to her, give her the food I had bought, listen to her talk for a few hours, and then go home after confirming her safety.

I did that several times.

In time, little by little, she seems to have recovered from the worst of her situation.

I can't let my guard down yet, but I'm a little relieved.

After listening to various stories, it seems that there are things that have not been resolved yet, so I will support her for a while.To the extent that it never becomes a burden to her.

 

sentimental autumn

This relationship with her is not a content to compare with other dating women.I know that.

Even if I understand, I can't get a subtle feeling.

If I dare say it clearly, I will have an adult relationship with a woman who I don't really like.Take care of the papa live girl, have an unnatural and smooth sex, and hand over your allowance.

It's a natural act for dads to be active, but I'm sick of the act itself.I feel uncomfortable with that for some reason.That's how I feel now.

I never thought that someone other than my family would trigger this kind of feeling.

 

I may have turned my eyes away from the essence, thinking that ``if I overcome lethargy and satisfy my desire, the time will come when I will become lethargic about desire itself.''

maybe i play"I don't feel good about people"I guess it's fromTo avoid any misunderstanding, I would like to add that this is just my case, limited to "me".

 

If I truly cared for someone, I shouldn't play around.

 

I just realized this basic thing.

In the end, people may only be able to grasp the opportunity for growth through relationships with other people, heart-to-heart relationships.

It may be time for me to move on to the next stage.

I feel like that all at once.

 

As I wrote in my last column, my relationship is going well, and I've got another date with an AV actress, so I have a lot of dates planned.

I can't talk like this to the woman I'm dating, and I have to act so that the woman I'm dating doesn't realize that I'm feeling this delicate.

I wonder if I can do it wellI.

Winning or losing, self-improvement, self-growth, and ``someday I will be lethargic with greed'' were my motivations for play, but once I realized that this was the wrong training method, I no longer have the motivation to work.If you want to continue the activity, it seems necessary to find some other activity policy.

 

And the reason why the motivation to be active is so low.There's more.

I just want to support her.She cherishes her so much that she doesn't feel like playing with a hot daddy girlfriend.

Of course there is that, but that's not all.

 

from herFeel "a certain atmosphere"It is.

Whether it's talking to her, hugging her, touching her hands, or touching her lips.She doesn't put it in her words, but she feels this atmosphere from her.

 

"Take care of your family more than me. 』

 

When.

 

What should I do? (laughs)

A woman I met in the universe is given a chance to return home in this way.

There is also something like this.

 

In this mode, you will enter the Papa Katsu Summit "Flag Maker and President Kida's All Night Universe".

Above all, my own tension is the most uneasy (laughs)

Drinking and talking with someone, I wonder if I'll feel refreshed once.

 

[Next time notice] Flag maker revival!