It is often said that it used to be beautiful.

It's not that I'm that old, but as I get older, my appearance has changed considerably due to age, lifestyle, and the effects of medicine.He repeatedly overeats and vomits, and has a mental illness, so he has gained a lot of weight.

It was cute, it was beautiful.Even though she doesn't want to be bound by such words, she is honest in her heart.Every time my ex-boyfriend or someone who saw my old photos jokingly said, "Oh! I used to be beautiful..."・Fifty.No, to be honest, the worst feeling is probably 8%.Because I'm not pretty now.

After I turned XNUMX, I got better at makeup.When she begins to understand what clothes look good on her, she begins to be told that she is "beautiful."Of course, there are few people who say that it is really beautiful by looking at the contents.They usually have ulterior motives and are usually invited to hotels. There is also the word "hole popular", but there is certainly such a period.

There is no one who hates myself like that and looks at the contents!If you are sulking, it will be "expired" in no time.The word "woman's prime" is the worst, but it seems that people around me still have it.

Recently, the word lookism has become popular.I interpret lookism as “looking cute, beautiful, cool, or ugly.I wish people would stop judging people based on their appearance, but no matter how loudly you insist on that, most people won't change.

How long will we have to be captivated by appearance, I feel depressed.But, after all, it makes me happy when people say that I'm cute or beautiful.Realizing that I'm the one who cares the most about my appearance makes me feel bad again.Yes, I'm the worst

I have to earn money with my face when I'm young!Or, while you are young, you are a flower!I often hear such words, and mothers say it without hesitation.

I think that papa activities are exactly “selling the youth”.Get money from men before the so-called "female expiration date" expires.The moment the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it is a limited-time item for the "young woman" who has just grown up.And that period is generally said to be very short.

Late teens to early 10's.If you can find a fat daddy through papa katsu, it may last forever, but for that reason, you have to catch him while he's young.Polish your appearance, accumulate knowledge, save money, and make an effort, effort, effort to extend the expiration date.

There are times when I feel uneasy about the unforeseen future, such as how much I should keep trying, but there are also parts of me who forget about the life in front of me by enjoying it.When I get older, I get married, have a baby, and the days when the grass next door is greener compared to the girls around me.

It's easy to start papa activities, but it takes dozens of times more physical strength to catch the next papa.I have to keep in touch frequently, and it's hard to manage.Even if you take me to an expensive restaurant, I can't eat until I'm full.You have to work hard to not gain weight, and cosmetics and beauty salons cost money.

It's really hard to keep facing the "now" so that you won't be told that you were beautiful in the past.How much do you think it will cost to maintain?What do you think?

Every time I am praised for the past, somewhere in my heart hurts.Therefore, I will never be satisfied with my current life.Like ravenous wolves, they wander through the wastelands of society in search of beauty and youth.

Eradicate lookism!I think, but as long as we are "humans", it will surely never disappear.People say that appearance is 9%.

I can't become Miura, and I can't become Otani.But that's why "I" can't be anyone.I have no choice but to believe that past love, sex, and any experience will surely seep out on my face.

So let's spare no effort "now".Aegyo, smile and knowledge.So that we can always be nice.

Of course you're beautiful even if you're fat, and you're beautiful even if you have smile lines and wrinkles.Because I've been working hard to be called nice, so I'm sure.I'm obsessed with how I look every day, but in order to become a person who will be loved no matter how old I am, let's keep smiling tomorrow.While fighting the reality that can't be a smile.

Someone will surely be watching us.I don't know if there's a god or not, but I hope someone sees all of my good deeds and bad deeds, the misery of being dumped when I told them I love them, and today when I'm worried about money and almost dying.I hope that the goal of an RPG called life, which becomes more difficult as you get older, is a happy one.

At night, I can't sleep because of anxiety, and I feel relieved when I'm counting money.I hope that I myself can love such an honest self.Even if no one loves me, I want to love myself.

That's why I spare no effort.

Take a breather every once in a while and don't take life too seriously.Because we must be living to love ourselves.

I love you, I

I hope the day will come soon when I can proudly say that.