"Taketori Monogatari" depicts a woman's psychology that tries to test a man's sincerity 8
Continuing from the XNUMXth episode of the last time, first, regarding the “NO” of “confirmation” in ①, here is the complex deep psychology of a woman who strongly desires and craves a man, yet is shaken by anxiety. is working.
On the one hand, they are dependent on men, and on the other hand, they are tormented by their inability to trust men.Therefore, by testing the man's "sincerity" and confirming it, he tries to stabilize himself.
For example, women often make seemingly impossible demands to their husbands or lovers.She asks for expensive jewelry that is beyond the reach of her salary, or asks her to write long letters (e-mails) every day.
She knew perfectly well that such a thing would be an unreasonable order for the other man.However, even if that request cannot be fulfilled in reality, it is possible to infer the extent of the man's "faithfulness" toward him.That's exactly what she's aiming for.
This kind of female psychology is vividly reflected in many ancient tales of brides and unreasonable challenges.
For example, in the famous Japanese tale, The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, Princess Kaguya, who was courted by five aristocrats, asked each man to bring a branch of jade on Mt. The scene in which the opponent is embarrassed by presenting an unreasonable demand, such as bringing something, is depicted very symbolically.
In the story, these demands are meant as a means to reject courtship, but in the background of the story, there are glimpses of female psychology that tries to test a man's "love". You'll notice it in no time.
If you add a little more emotional color to the "NO" that tries to confirm the man's "sincerity" with this unreasonable challenge, it will turn into a "sneering" gesture.When a woman fails to meet her demands, when she cannot explain her demands logically, she simply abandons the logical confrontation and takes up another weapon of emotion.
"I'm offended", "I'm not getting what I want and I'm dissatisfied". In many cases, the reason why a woman sneezes is because she wants to tell a man about the results.
And in the depths of it, there is a proper calculation that ``we won't be forced into a decisive situation here''.This is clearly nothing but spoiling.In other words, "shin" is nothing but a change of form, and it can be said that it is an extremely powerful "emotional" weapon that the weak can activate against the strong.
As I mentioned earlier, the "NO" of this "confirmation" is always working with the consciousness of stabilizing oneself by seeking sincerity from a man, but this self-centered woman's psychology is extremely conspicuous. I think it's the case of a woman who refuses, saying, "I don't like it because it's XX".
For example, when someone asks you out on a date, you may say, "I have a strict curfew, and I don't want to be late, so no." There are many women who use this as a shield to refuse an invitation.
She seems to be a very strong-willed and serious woman, but there is something that cannot be dismissed so easily.The reason why they take such a "no" pose toward men is not because they are moved by a deep inner voice, but because they are merely building up superficial morals and ethics. There are many cases where it is not too much.
If so, if there is another reason that the person can convince himself in the "○○" part of "I don't like XX", then "I don't like XX" can be instantly Then, it will be replaced with "It's good if it's △△".
There is a high possibility that you will be able to say, "It's fine until XNUMX o'clock at night" or "You can go out with your fiancée if you don't find out."
In other words, this kind of woman, in her true heart, seeks out △△ that says, "If it's △△, it's fine," and if she can give reasons that convince her even if only on the surface, and if she can stabilize herself, she will find it surprisingly easy. There are often cases where there is a strong tendency to fall into the military gates of men.
■ Silence and bravado are manifestations of distorted female psychology
The ``NO'' of ``reflection'' in XNUMX. is generally used as an expression of assertiveness and assertiveness.I think that the words that so-called career women often say, "I don't want to get married" and "I don't feel lonely even if I don't have a lover," apply to this.
Needless to say, most of the women who say these words out loud have a strong desire for marriage or a lover deep down in their hearts.As already mentioned, the attitude of "anti-desire" that appears on the surface shows the magnitude of "desire" in the depths.
A long time ago, there was a TV drama about a XNUMX-year-old woman who secretly visits the Marriage Information Service Center while she talks about her celibacy to those around her.I was deeply impressed by the performance that vividly expressed the violently swaying female psychology.
At a bar with a colleague at work, while rolling a tokkuri bottle, he yelled, "What is a man?"The more you show the appearance of ignoring a man on the surface, the more the desire in your heart will be amplified.
I think this is exactly the stereotype of "a woman who doesn't want to get married."Also, when a man asks a question that is difficult to answer, a woman often answers with silence.
While pretending to be "NO" on the surface, the real intention is to express "YES".I once heard from an architect acquaintance of mine who plays in Playboy about how to spend the night with a woman in a natural way without making her feel uncomfortable.
It seems that it is to ask "Do you want to go home or stay the night?" at a hotel bar late at night.Actually, the order of these words is miso.
The fact that a woman is alone with a man is proof that she is already ready for it.However, I don't want the man to be overwhelmed by that overt sense of expectation.
At that time, if you start asking, "Do you want to stay the night?"
So, if you first betray the woman's expectations by saying, "Are you going home?" is.
Men who haven't had the chance to practice this technique yet, give it a try.The point is to ask her to stay silent in a way that would be an affirmative response.
■ There is a considerable gap between women's complaints and dissatisfaction and their true consciousness.
An acquaintance of mine, a business owner who has had relationships with more than XNUMX pairs of men and women, and whose hobby is said to be the ice man under the moon, had this to say about the trick to putting together marriages. .
For women who are dissatisfied with their men after looking at their photos and careers and are reluctant to make an appointment, I say, "You have a good eye, so it's only natural that you're dissatisfied, but what about you? If you try to persuade them by asking them to meet you, they often come to think of it as an arranged marriage.
In other words, I think that they were willing to accept persuasion because the value of holding dissatisfaction itself was recognized.
If we analyze the depths of the psychology of these women, we can read that the reason why they express complaints and dissatisfaction is that they want to be recognized for the value of their dissatisfaction rather than having their dissatisfaction satisfied. We can.Based on this assumption, the complaints and dissatisfactions of women correspond to the “NO” that adjusts the appearance of (XNUMX).
Under their consciousness, of course, there must be more or less guilt in expressing their dissatisfaction. If you have someone to help you, that guilt will disappear, and at the same time, your feelings of happiness will strengthen as your value is recognized.
That's why I feel like I'm going to respond to persuasion honestly.In the end, what is important to them is not the complaining or dissatisfaction that comes up at the edge of their mouth, but the themselves who say it.
A similar example is a woman who dismisses a man for various reasons, such as a mismatch in personality or different tastes. It can be said.
In such cases, contrary to the content of the surface dissatisfaction, there is another dissatisfaction deep in the heart, such as a dissatisfaction with sex or appearance. Complaints and dissatisfaction are often enumerated.In other words, by complaining, you are persuading yourself by substituting your reasoning.
■ A woman wipes out her fears by laying out counterarguments.
In the first place, it seems that women's counterarguments are not often counterarguments from the heart.In particular, if a woman begins to make it her habit to refute "that is ``NO'' and that is ``NO'', it is safe to regard it as an excuse for her to justify her actions." is.
The wife of a drinking buddy of mine moved to a new apartment a few years ago. My husband lamented that he was worried and that he had listed more than XNUMX items of dissatisfaction.
Even so, it's not like he canceled the move.I believe that this is a counterargument that serves as a pretext for self-justification.
In this way, women are afraid to act independently for their own reasons, and they seek reasons from the other party, and there is an aspect that makes them feel at ease and take action.Therefore, before she takes action, she thinks of counterarguments for the action in advance and prepares an excuse when she is accused.
■ I picked up a collection of actual examples that reveal the true nature of women from denial.
* When a woman asks a man to do something unreasonable, it is a sign of her willingness to test the man's sincerity, and evidence that she has doubts about the man's sincerity.
* Women's counterarguments are often justifications that allow them to justify their actions.
*It is safe to assume that a woman's silence to a question that is difficult to answer is a sign of YES.
*When a woman makes a small protest to a man, she often hopes that the protest will go unheeded.
* Women's "I don't like it because I don't like it" is the flip side of "I don't like it".
*Women who reject men for multiple reasons, such as differences in personality and hobbies, are often dissatisfied with their sexuality and physical appearance.
*When a woman complains, she wants to be recognized for the value of her dissatisfaction, rather than for her dissatisfaction to be satisfied.
* A woman's "I don't want to get married" is an expression of her strong desire for marriage.
* Women's "sneezing" is "sweet".
I have tried to say so far, but I would appreciate it if there was something that could convince ladies and gentlemen, even if only a little.
This is a irrelevant personal matter, but in addition to the lover story with Mrs. K that I wrote in my previous column, I am currently in a concurrent relationship with an associate professor (married woman) at a university in Sendai. increase.I think she was in charge of another subject in addition to "Nursing and Psychology", but it is also because she has many opportunities to listen to her bedtime stories through her relationship.
As a man, I am very happy to be able to write about female psychology in this column because she theoretically explains the true feelings of women.Of course, she can honestly and clearly express my sensual requests in bed, so I can understand the mysterious woman's body more deeply, so I can enjoy her body and spirit more deeply.
From the next time onwards, I would like to talk in detail about the content of "searching for the true intentions of a woman with a sudden momentum", divided into each item.First of all, the true intentions of a woman that appear unconsciously in “word habits”.I would like to start with a story titled.