A woman's true feelings that appear unconsciously in "language habits" 9
From this time onwards, I would like to divide my talk into 5 parts under the title of "Exploring the true intentions of a woman's sudden momentum."
Before that, I was a little reprimanded by my mistress, an associate professor at a university in Sendai, who appeared in Column 8. He said, "I didn't want you to mention the name of the place."
I apologized over and over, saying that I had already written it down, so I couldn't cancel it, but I ended up taking him on a short trip as an apology (laughs).
A woman's words are often a camouflage to prevent her from being seen through
It goes without saying that language is a tool for self-expression.But as far as women are concerned, I think it's a bit of a stretch to take this verbal self-expression at face value.
This is because women generally tend not to want to talk about themselves straight.I heard a story from a university associate professor who I wrote about in my previous Column 8, who is dealing with many female students on a daily basis.
"There's something I'd like to ask the teacher..."But whatever it may be, the Associate Professor (Mistress) has decided to withhold the answer to that question for now.
This is because they cannot understand what they really want to hear from just asking superficial questions.In short, their habit of saying "I want to ask you a little question" serves as an antenna to probe whether I (Associate Professor) is listening to what they are saying, and at the same time it prevents them from realizing their true intentions until they find out. I was told that it was playing the role of camouflage.
Psychologically speaking, the words shown here on the surface are a manifestation of a defensive reaction to prevent the other party from seeing through the depths.At first glance, it may seem as if these language habits come out of your mouth unconsciously, but that is probably not the case.
Since words originally have a logical function, women who use them, regardless of their strengths and weaknesses, should play the role of their words as antennas and camouflage in their own way, as long as their thinking power does not stop. Because you should be aware.
Therefore, if we trace the woman's language habits backwards, we can get a fairly accurate picture of what she is trying to explore and what she is using to camouflage what lies deep within. It becomes.However, since the language habits that appear on the surface cannot be grouped into a single unit, you will need to be careful about that point.
Women's speech habits can be divided into five stages, "straight expression", "searching expression", "no expression", "slide expression", and "reverse expression", in descending order of camouflage.
Of these, since "straight expression" is straight, it seems that the surface and the depth are often the same.Also, since "expressionless" is nothing but "silence" and the amount of information is zero, it seems that it is not easy to trace the depth from here.
Therefore, here, I would like to focus on three things: "saguri expression", "slide expression", and "expression", and explain the know-how to grasp the depth from women's language habits.
■ Behind the woman's harsh words, an unexpected "oldness" is hidden.
Of the three methods of expression that we will discuss here, the one that makes it easier to grasp the depth of women is the “reverse expression”.That is because it is clear at a glance that she is trying to probe, and that she is trying to camouflage, if you look at the XNUMX-degree opposite of her language.
For example, I think the following woman would be a good material for this rule.For Showa school people like me, hearing harsh words like four-letter words coming from a young woman's mouth is a shocking experience, and even terrifying.
However, it seems that I am not the only one who is frustrated by this trend among young women.However, if she carelessly denies this, she might be looked down upon as an "old man" by women, so I'm forcing myself to get along with her, but if I don't, I have no choice but to keep her mouth shut. is.
It's such a pity, but to tell you the truth, you don't have to worry about it.Leaving aside their mouths, it seems that their true nature is not open enough to criticize men for being old.
This is also nothing but the times, but many women who want to use harsh words in front of men do so desperately to cancel out the oldness inside themselves and become “new”. This is because there are many cases where you are trying to appeal to.
In other words, I think it's correct to think that they actually have a lot of hesitation and embarrassment about harsh expressions.
As you can see, the blatant words they like to use are only superficial, and in most cases they camouflage their femininity, such as shyness.
If we take it one step further, it is possible that what is camouflaged is the desire to "want people to understand that I am a cute woman who knows how to be shy."
It's an old story, but that British Prime Minister Thatcher, who was called incompetent not only by his political opponents but also by other heads of state such as former President Carter and former Prime Minister Yoshiyuki Suzuki, cast off his iron armor at home and has a virtuous wife and children. If you think about transforming into a wise mother who loves , I don't think it's surprising to see such a gap.
■ The reason why the Ginza hostess only used polite words to the male employees
I once heard from a woman who works as a hostess at a high-end club in Ginza that she tries to use polite words to even a fledgling boy.
In this world, I hear that there are cases where the internal relationship between men and women tends to be disturbed, and there are cases where people end up falling to the point of falling because they have a deep relationship with a manager or a boy.
Since they were also women, it seems that they were sometimes attracted to managers and boys who looked like men.However, it seems that the fear of holding a string was greater than that.So, in order to set herself apart from them, she dared to use polite words and act like a stranger.
This plan worked, and she had a reputation for being "straight-laced", and she said that she was able to get a patron, the company president, without any motion from them.
I think this approach of hers makes a lot of sense psychologically.In order to measure the progress of the relationship between a man and a woman, it seems to be an important point whether or not honorifics appear in the language of both parties.
Even though they have been dating for quite some time, if the other woman continues to use only honorifics or similar polite words, she will intentionally create a wall between them, just like the hostess. I can't think of anything else.
However, I think that unless you are a very insensitive man, you will be able to guess this level.And that's exactly what women are aiming for.
By emphasizing the language habits of honorifics and polite words, the women express their intentions by saying, "I have no intention of crossing a line with you." This is because it seems that most of the cases are being investigated.
In this way, "saguri expression" is very close to "straight expression", and I think it can be said that it is a word habit that does not try to hide the depth.
For example, a typical example of this ``searching expression'' is the words ``why?'' and ``why? If you do, it is often very easy to see through to the depth, saying, "This is a sign that she doesn't understand you."
However, there are also some "searching expressions" that are difficult to grasp the depth.For example, some women give themselves a nod while talking, saying, "I think so, yeah."
A kind-hearted man might be a little harsh, but I think some people would just ignore it.However, if he were to marry that woman, he would likely end up licking his tongue, wondering why he wasn't more careful then.
A woman who interjects herself into her story is acting as a monologue, and tends to neglect the vital communication between speaker and listener.These women are likely to be stubborn and self-centered.
In other words, while hiding this true nature, most of them are able to grope the other men, saying, "I'm sure my thinking is not wrong," in a way that half of the counterargument is sealed. .
■ If you slide the word "interesting person", it will become "I like you".
By the way, it is "slide expression" that is the most difficult to read deep in women's language habits.This is because we have to carefully follow the thread of the psyche to find out what the language habits shown on the surface have been slid from deep inside.
For example, if a woman said to me, "You're an interesting person," I wondered what in the depths of her that these words came from. As for that, I would like to introduce this kind of story in a magazine.
It is widely known that actor NT and screenwriter MK are one of the loveliest married couples in the theater world.According to a magazine, the original relationship between the two was that Mr. NT, who was a struggling actor, was strongly attracted to Mr. MK, who was a popular actress.
However, she didn't have much interest in Mr. NT, and at best she seemed to have the impression that he was a "interesting person" who was taciturn and blunt, but also had a silly side.
It happened that the two of them were going home in the same direction, so they often rode the same train and talked about various things.In the meantime, Mr. MK seems to have come to understand that Mr. NT is a person with considerable ability as an actor.
And this feeling seems to have deepened the more we talked about it. It was not long after that that Mr. MK overcame his parents' opposition and married Mr. NT.
I take my hat off to Mr. MK's ability to see through Mr. NT's talent, but I guess the reason for this was his impression of Mr. NT as an "interesting person."I think that Mr. MK may have said this directly to Mr. NT.
And I think this gradually turned into a curiosity about Mr. NT, and I think it was the step that made me pay attention to his hidden talent.In this way, it is thought that curiosity about the other man is working in women's habit of saying "interesting person".
Therefore, it is not uncommon for a woman who mentions this to find in the other person the "unexpectedness" of a high talent as an actor like Mr. NT, and then be rapidly attracted to that man. That's what it means.
If you go this far, I think that the word habit of "interesting person" is nothing but a deep slide of "I like you".
■ Powerful poison contained in women's language habits
The word "interesting person" is a casual phrase, but there are similar words that women say casually, such as "You're fashionable", which is a way of praising clothes and personal items.
Women are always sensitive to men's clothing, but if you dare to express your interest to the person in question, and in a compliment, I think it's worth trying to get to the depths of her and find out what she really thinks. .
If I state the conclusion first, I think it's safe to think that this habit of words is a slide of the woman's favor for the other man, even if there is a difference in degree.This is because women often think that men's dress and belonging tendencies symbolize their personality.
Therefore, a man who has good taste and wears his own clothes and personal items has a higher level of inner interest, which is indicated by these phrases.
All of the "slide expressions" I've introduced so far are gentle, but the following case is a very poisonous word, so be careful.
Some of the men in the world were told by their wives and lovers, "You don't mind if I cheat on you, but please don't let me know." It seems that there are some people who do.
However, as much as they are intelligent and intelligent, it is difficult for them to show their true colors in front of men.In other words, they know how to cleverly hide their deepest true feelings.
Therefore, if you take seriously what they say, "It's okay to have an affair," and grin and say, "I understand men," on the contrary, even if you're cheating on me behind the scenes, There is also the danger that you may find yourself in a situation where you are completely oblivious.
In fact, there is a story about a man who was in a good mood when his wife told him that, and was horrified when he thought back, "Wait!"As he recalled these words with a smile on his face, he realized that they were actually a threat: "If you cheat on me, I will cheat on you without you knowing. Please take care of me." It is.
I would like to draw the attention of men, myself included, to avoid being deceived by these women's "slide expressions."
I tried to pick up a collection of examples that see through the nature of a woman from the wording of words
*A woman who likes to use harsh expressions wants to be seen as a cute woman who knows how to be shy.
* Women who respond to what they say by themselves, such as "What is it? Yes," are often stubborn and self-centered.
*Even after a long relationship, women who use polite language don't want to cross the line with their partner's man.
* Women's "why" and "why" are signals that let them know that they do not understand the other person.
*The fact that a woman calls a man “an interesting person” is proof that she has a strong interest in that man.
* A woman's line, "You're fashionable, isn't it?" is a signal of affection for a man.
How was that.Well, next time is the hidden feelings of a woman that appear in "dialogue" with a man.I would like to start with a story titled.